


Driver's License

by Draculalovesdaisies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fanfiction, Fluff and Angst, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Ending, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29118627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draculalovesdaisies/pseuds/Draculalovesdaisies
Summary: Inspired by the song Driver's License by Olivia RodrigoTSUKIYAMASoulmate au where, on your 18th birthday, you find out who your soulmate is and your last moments with them! I came up with the idea myself, but if it's been used before, credit to the person.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

Part 1

"Tsuki!" A voice echoed through the hallway causing Tsukishima to spin toward the source. A few feet away was Yamaguchi jogging toward him with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Hey," Tsukishima replied as he stopped walking and waited for Yamaguchi to catch up to him. When he did, he was bent over and breathing heavily holding a finger up signaling to give him a minute.

"Happy birthday!" He announced after he finally caught his breath.

"Thanks..." Tsukishima replied a little dryly. It was his 18th birthday which meant...

"You're going to find out who your soulmate is tonight!" He voiced Tsukishima's exact thoughts. On the night of your 18th birthday you find out who your soulmate is, but you also find out how they die.

Well, it's actually your last moments with the person, but for a majority of people, their last moments are of their soulmate dying. Like their last breath in a hospital and whatnot. And what's more, is that it's not given to you directly. It's shown in short clips during a dream and you have to figure it out yourself, at least that's what he's heard anyway.

What kind of universe does that to someone? Tell them who they're going to spend the rest of their life with but also make them paranoid the whole time because they know what happens but there is nothing they can do.

Tsuki rolled his eyes under closed lids. He wanted to say he didn't care who his soulmate was in the slightest, but he knew he'd be lying. In all honesty, he was a little curious, but he was sure after he found out who it was he'd go back to not caring. He didn't say anything, but he was secretly a little nervous.

"Yeah, so?" They both continued walking to Tsukishima's locker where he grabbed his things so they could leave.

"What do you mean 'so'?" Yamaguchi mocked Tsukishima's bland, monotonous voice. "Aren't you excited? Who do you think it's going to be? Do you have anyone you're hoping for?"

Of course he had a person in mind, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. He wasn't lucky enough to get the one person he wanted, so the thought of him possibly being his soulmate didn't even seem like an option.

Tsukishima shrugged as they then made their way to Yamaguchi's locker. He was quick to swap everything out and they were walking out of the school in no time.

"I don't know. There's no point in guessing. It could be anyone." Tsukishima watched as the wind blew Yamaguchi's hair, making it dance around his freckled face. He looked away before he would notice.

"Hmm. Well, you're lucky. I still gotta wait a month and 14 days." Tsukishima heard Yamaguchi's loud, exaggerated sigh from beside him.

"You counted the days?"

"Yeah..." He blushed softly, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. "I really want to know."

"Why would you want to know your last moments with your soulmate?" Tsukishima asked in an almost irritated tone causing Yamaguchi's smile to fade.

"Well, if it's a bad ending then maybe there's a chance that we can try and prevent it!" He said confidently, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"You know that's impossible," Tsukishima rolled his eyes at his friend's optimism. "You should know since you're always watching soulmate videos."

Yamaguchi groaned at his bluntness. "Would it kill you to have a little hope that miracles exist?"

They were outside Yamaguchi's house and they said their goodbyes.

"Are you going to tell me who it is?" He asked, looking up at Tsukishima.

"I don't know. I'll guess we'll see tomorrow." He avoided Yamaguchi's gaze until he turned around and walked inside, giving him a soft goodbye.

\---

Later that night, after all his homework was done, Tsukishima found himself lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was only 7 o'clock, but all he could think about was what was going to happen when he went to sleep.

What if his soulmate was someone he hated, like Kageyama? Or someone he didn't even know yet? Man, that would be a drag. He just hoped that, if it wasn't the person he wanted, it would at least be someone he knew...

Tsukishima sat up in bed, coming to a realization. He hardly knew anybody so the chances of him getting someone he knew was already slim and getting someone he both knew and didn't dislike was even slimmer. He was screwed. He groaned and put his headphones over his ears and pressed a random playlist, hoping it would distract him.

A few hours later, his phone vibrated on his stomach. He hadn't left the position he was in since he laid down. He was surprised he hadn't fallen asleep during that time.

He picked up his phone and saw that he got a text from Yamaguchi.

Yams: Goodnight. I hope you get someone you want (:

Tsuki: Enough. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow.

And with that, Tsukishima plugged his phone in and did his night routine before getting in bed.

9:56 p.m.

....

10:43 p.m.

.....

11:58 p.m.

Why was he still awake?

He groaned and turned in the bed for what seemed to be the thousandth time. Why couldn't he sleep? Surely it wasn't because he would find out who his soulmate was?

He checked his phone and glared at the time. He was going to be exhausted tomorrow if he didn't sleep soon. He tossed his phone angrily onto the side table and squeezed his eyes shut hoping that would put him to sleep, but he was still wide awake.

Another hour went by before he started to feel drowsy and he felt thankful as he was pulled to sleep.

\---

"Tsuki! Please, help me..."

There was blood... so much blood.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it, please... help me..."

Glass, all over the floor... crunching as he walked toward him. The sobbing boy was on his knees, looking down at the blood.

Tsukishima looked at the boy with brown hair, unsure of what to do.

"Please..." The boy's pleas were growing weaker, fainter as the blood spread.

Finally, the boy looked up at him, tears streaming down his freckled cheeks.

It was Yamaguchi.


	2. Part 2

"Kei?" A voice called to him. "Kei, it's time to wake up or you'll be late for school."

"Kei!" The voice was closer and he could hear a banging on the door. "Wake up, now!"

Tsukishima shot up from his mattress, breathing as if he'd just finished running the mile. His face was wet, was he sweating? He stood up and walked to the bathroom where he took in his current condition. He wasn't sweating. He must've been crying in his sleep.

Suddenly it all came back to him... his dream...

He wiped his face roughly and splashed cold water onto his face to cool it off.

What the hell was happening in his dream? Was it some kind of car accident? He remembered all the blood he saw and felt himself go pale. The boy on the ground surrounded by blood was... Yamaguchi?

Yamaguchi was his soulmate. Just like he was secretly hoping for.

And of course, his last moments were his death.

\---

He arrived at school just barely on time and slipped into his first period. A class that he had with Yamaguchi. He decided he wasn't going to tell him since he would figure it out in a month anyway, plus he didn't want to have to tell him about what he saw in his dream.

"Goodmorning. You look kind of terrible..." Yamaguchi laughed but when he saw Tsukishima's face, he stopped. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just woke up late." Yams leaned against Tsukishima's desk and looked down at him. Tsukishima tried to avoid looking at him because every time he did, he was reminded of his terrible nightmare. The blood, the tears on his face...

"So you're keeping your soulmate a secret?" Yamaguchi concluded. Tsukishima could only nod in response. He tried to not let it get to him, but it was impossible not to. How can you act normal when you figured out your soulmate is your best friend and you just saw them die?

"Jeez. Maybe I'm not looking forward to my birthday after all..." Yams said, looking down at his lap.

"Oh, also!" He paused to dig into his backpack on the ground.

"This is from Hinata and me. It's a present. I forgot to give it to you yesterday... Sorry."

In his hand was a box a little bigger than his hand and it was wrapped in wrapping paper that had "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" repeating all over.

Tsuki couldn't hide the small smile forming over his lips. He slowly unwrapped it and opened the box. Inside was a pair of headphones. Tsukishima looked up at his friend.

"Do you like it? They were kind of expensive so we both saved up for a little bit! But we both thought you'd like a new pair because the ones you have are a little old and worn..." Yamaguchi babbled to make up for Tsuki's lack of a reply, his face blushing as he tried to fill the silence.

"Yes, I like it. Why wouldn't I?" He tried to keep a poker face but another smile slowly crept on his mouth. Yamaguchi noticed immediately and cheered.

"Thank God! I was so nervous!" He chuckled to himself and took the discarded box and wrapping paper and threw them away.

"Okay, I think class is about to begin, I'll talk to you later!" And with that, he went back to his desk just as the bell rang and the teacher arrived, already explaining the plan for the day.

\---

After the school day ended, Tsukishima met up with Yamaguchi in the cafeteria where he would wait for him sometimes. Hinata and Kageyama were there as well, sitting on the opposite side of Yamaguchi.

"Tsuki! Do you like your new headphones!" Hinata jumped out of the chair and stood in front of him, blocking his path to Yamaguchi.

"No, but only because you gave them to me..." Hinata turned to stone at the response.

Yamaguchi snickered as Tsukishima walked around the sculpture and stood next to him. "He's lying, Hinata, he told me he liked them when I gave it to him."

Hinata turned normal and blew heavily out of his nose. "Sit down, idiot," Kageyama said from his spot. He seemed to be attempting to do homework for once.

"Let's go," Tsukishima tapped on Yams's shoulder and he stood up next to him.

"See you later!" Yamaguchi called to the other two and then they began walking.

The walk was pretty silent. Tsukishima knew that Yams wanted to ask him about his soulmate and his dream but knew better than to, knowing that Tsuki wouldn't give him the response he wanted. But Yams couldn't help being curious.

"Will you tell me who your soulmate is when I know who mine is?" He asked, looking at his feet as he walked, occasionally kicking a pebble or two.

He thought for a moment before answering. "Yeah." That made Yamaguchi smile, which made Tsukishima smile a little too.

\---

"Happy Birthday, Yamaguchi!" everyone screamed, Hinata being the loudest. If Noya were still here, he'd be jumping up and down on Yams's shoulders and bouncing off the walls.

Everyone was standing around the table except for Yamaguchi who was sitting down waiting for his mom to light all of the candles.

"Okay, everyone, time to sing the birthday song!" His mother announced, backing away from the table so that Yamaguchi was the center of attention. She counted us off.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Tadashi, happy birthday to you!" Everyone sang. Tsukishima didn't, obviously, but he did say the words.

"And many more!" Someone from behind Tsuki said and everyone clapped.

"Make a wish!" Hinata was jumping for joy.

"Calm down!" Kageyama smacked his head, causing him to pout, but he could see that he was still twitching with excitement. Hinata seemed to be having more fun at Yamaguchi's birthday than his own. Tsukishima could only compare because he was forced to go by Yams.

With a huge smile on his freckled face, he blew out the candles with one big blow. More clapping. Tsukishima wasn't fond of how many people were stuck in one room together, but he couldn't leave until presents were opened. After that, it was basically free rein as everyone got to settle down and hang out.

"Here's from Hinata and Kageyama..." His dad said, handing over a big box. After their gift was some from his distant family members and then his parents. His was last.

"And this is from Tsukishima!" Suddenly he felt nervous. He wished that he didn't have to open his present while everyone was watching, but he didn't want to be a dick and stop him, so he stayed quiet and waited.

Yamaguchi smiled even brighter when he heard it was him. His present was small compared to the others which made him even more self-conscious about what he got him.

"What is it, honey?" His mother asked as he unwrapped the gift.

"A lanyard! It has volleyballs and other things I like on it!" His mom cooed and asked to look at it. It wasn't anything special. Tsukishima had to get it custom made so that it had all the things he liked since no websites had lanyards with volleyballs, dogs, bees, and other things like that on it.

"Thank you, Tsuki!" Yamaguchi gushed over it his present.

"It's for when you get your driver's license... so you can put your keys on it..." He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as everyone's attention was now on him.

"If I get my license..." He joked, forcing a frown. It didn't last long as he broke into laughter along with everyone else.

"Don't worry, you're 18 now. All you gotta do is take your test." Hinata encouraged, also taking a look at the gift.

\---

The party ended and it was just Tsukishima and Yamaguchi in his bedroom. He was putting away his gifts while gushing about each and every one of them.

"I can't wait to get my license and then a car so I can use this!" He smiled down at the green lanyard in his hand before handing it on a hook next to his coat.

"Did you make an appointment?" He wasn't facing him, but he nodded.

"Can you take me driving so I can get some practice? My parents are always too busy..." Yamaguchi asked, joining Tsuki on his bed. It was weird whenever they hung out at Yamaguchi's place since they almost always stayed at Tsuki's. There was no reason as to why they did, it had just always been that way.

"Sure but I think you'll be fine." He wasn’t sure what the rules were when it came to this, but he didn’t really care. Tsukishima already had his license for a few years now. He got it after he turned 16 thanks to being in a driver's education course. Yamaguchi wasn't able to take it since his parents couldn't afford it. So instead, they've been saving up for a car since.

"It's getting kind of late, I should get going."

"You're not staying?" Yams asked, watching as his friend got up from the bed, it shifting as the weight was lifted.

"Do you want me to?" It was a weekend, so there wasn't a particular reason as to why he couldn't stay. Well, except...

"A little, yeah." Yamaguchi looked down at his hands nervously. "I'm gonna find out who my soulmate is and you promised that you would tell me who yours was once I found out."

The feelings of seeing Yamaguchi dying in front of him were suddenly rushed into Tsukishima's mind. He hadn't thought about it in a few weeks... How could he have forgotten? His heart broke a little at the memory.

"Okay, I'll stay. But I didn't bring any clothes..."

"You can borrow my pajamas!" There was no way he could fit in his clothes, but he didn't argue. He felt himself starting to be weighed down. In a few hours, Yamaguchi was going to see his last memory with him.

"Are you nervous?" Tsuki asked as they were settling into bed together. He was on the inside like always because Yamaguchi got claustrophobic.

"A little, yeah. What if it's a sad ending... like seeing them die or something?" Tsuki felt his heart break a little. As much as it hurt him seeing Yams like that, he's glad things weren't the other way around: him dying and Yamaguchi having to watch.

"Weren't you the one to say that you would try and prevent it? Something about a miracle?" Tsuki joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but... I don't know anymore. I'm scared." Tuski just swallowed, unsure of what to say. He didn't want to say something now and then regret it when Yamaguchi found out, so he stayed silent.

"Are you hoping for anyone?" He couldn't stop himself from asking. What if he didn't want to be soulmates with him? That would be awkward.

"Yes," he replied simply. "But I don't think it will be the person I want to be with."

"Who do you want to be with?" There were a few moments of silence.

"It's a secret..." Yamaguchi forced a smile before turning on his side and facing away from him. "Goodnight. I'll let you know in the morning."

Tsukishima didn't reply. Instead, he forced himself to go to sleep as well, waiting anxiously for the morning to come.

Authors note  
I hope y'all enjoy. Please leave your thoughts, I'd love to hear them! Also this is my first time using AO3 so please don't kill me if its set up wrong


	3. Part 3

It was barely sunrise when Tsukishima was woken up by constant moving and whimpering. He sat up and checked his phone to see it was 7:07 a.m. on Saturday morning.

More whimpering brought his attention to the source. He looked over to Yamaguchi who was twisting and turning and breathing heavily and, upon closer inspection, he could see that there were tears pouring out of his eyes even though he was asleep.

Tsukishima sat up and was about to wake him up, but stopped himself. what if he cut off something important? He already knew what happened to Yams, but maybe he would learn something more about the situation than Tsuki did as all he could remember was that there was a lot of blood, broken glass, and Yamaguchi crying on the floor.

He decided against it, even though it hurt him to watch his soulmate suffer. There was no way he could go back to sleep though while hearing him whimper and sob, so he carefully crawled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.

Once he finished he walked back into the room and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Yamaguchi sitting upright in bed.

"Tsuki," his voice was raw from just waking up. "W-why didn't you tell me?" His voice cracked and more tears streamed down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." was all he could say as he joined him on the bed. He was immediately enveloped into a tight hug. His shirt was wet from Yamaguchi's tears, but he didn't complain. He held him back, rubbing the back of his head in a comforting manner.

"What did you see?" Tsukishima asked after building up the courage to do so.

Yamaguchi hiccuped and sniffled a few times before pulling away. His eyes were red and puffy and Tsukishima wanted to hold his face and tell him everything would be alright, but he felt that it wasn't the right time.

"It felt like I was dying... There was blood everywhere I looked but I couldn't tell where it was coming from and it hurt. My whole body hurt. And then you..." New tears welled at his eyes as he remembered. "You were there, and you were crying. You didn't look old though. You looked almost the same as now. But you kept telling me to calm down and to relax and that everything was going to be fine. That's all I remember."

Tsukishima's stomach dropped hearing that. What the hell was going to happen?

“Tsuki? Promise me we’ll stay together forever.”

“But we don’t have forever together.” He answered sadly. 

“Well, forever while we’re alive?”

“Okay. I promise.”

\---

"I'm nervous." Yamaguchi shivered in the passenger seat beside Tsukishima.

"Don't be. You practiced everything a hundred times. You'll pass." Yamaguchi nodded his head with a new look of determination on his face before getting out of the car and going into the DMV.

Tsukishima sat in the parking lot playing on his phone for about 25 minutes before he was interrupted by the side door opening. A red-eyed Yamaguchi plopped down next to him and buckled up without a word.

"Did you pass?" He knew he obviously didn't, but still felt obligated to ask.

"No..."

"Oh... That's okay. A lot of people don't pass their first time. Take Hinata for example." Tsukishima saw this as the perfect opportunity to take a jab at his friend, hoping it would lighten the mood.

"You did..." He said, staring out the window.

"So? You'll pass next time, don't worry." He forced himself to place a hand on Yamaguchi's. It's not that he was repulsed with touching him or anything, it was just that Tsukishima wasn't very good at expressing feelings other than disgust and annoyance.

Yamaguchi spun around with a smile on his face at the affection. He usually was the one to touch Tsuki or hug him and whatnot, so when things were reversed, it made him happier than anyone could imagine.

"Thank you... Can we get french fries to cheer me up?" He asked, wiping a stray tear away. Tsuki rolled his eyes but agreed and pulled to the nearest fast food place.

\----

Later that night, Tsuki was lying in bed. He was thinking about both of their last moments with each other.

Yamaguchi said that Tsuki didn't look much older than he did now. Did that mean that it would be sometime soon where Tsuki would have to see Yamaguchi like that? He tried to push the image of him on the floor out of his mind, but it kept appearing, pushing every other thought to distract himself out of the way and making itself seen.

Tsuki wondered what Yamaguchi thought of it. Being soulmates, their last moments, everything.

He grabbed his phone, wanting to message him, but deciding against it.

Maybe things would be best if Tsukishima tried to distance himself from him so that it would hurt less when it inevitably happened... but Tsuki couldn't imagine not talking to Yamaguchi, much less removing him from his life completely. But still, would that really work?

\---

"Tsuki!" Yams yelled through the speaker of Tsuki's phone. "Can I come over to practice driving?" Tsuki agreed and went to pick him up.

After he arrived, he crawled into the passenger seat and waited for Yamaguchi to appear. He was about to call him and tell him to hurry up when he heard the front door open and slam shut. He looked up and saw that Yamaguchi running to the driver's side and jumping in.

"Why do you look so excited?" Tsukishima asked, looking over at him. He had a smile on his face that wouldn't drop no matter how hard he tried.

"I have a surprise." Was all he said about the matter. Tsuki waited to hear more but was surprised he was actually staying quiet about it.

"It's kind of a long car ride, so bear with me." Tsuki shrugged. As long as he wasn't driving, it was fine by him.

"We're almost there, close your eyes." The ride took about an hour, and Tsuki had no idea where they could possibly be going.

He looked at the driver with raised eyebrows. Was that really necessary? What was he, a 6 year old?

"Just do it!" He said, almost aggressively.

"Okay, fine..." Tsuki closed his eyes and they remained closed until they reached their destination.

"You better not crash the car and kill us." Tsuki joked dryly.

"I won't!"

Finally, they arrived.

"Keep em closed until we get inside."

Yamaguchi got out of the car and flew to the other side, opening the door and taking Tsuki's hand to lead him. Even though it wasn't meant as anything romantic, Tsuki's heart still skipped a beat. He brushed it off and focused on walking without falling on his face.

"Okay, we're here. Open your eyes!" There was a lot of chattering and there was soft music playing overhead. Tsuki had no clue as to where they would be.

He opened his eyes.

In front of him was a huge skeleton T-rex. Like the huge one in the movies.

"Wow! It's so much bigger in person, right?" Yamaguchi awed, looking straight up at the monster.

Tsukishima felt himself smile and his grip on Yamaguchi's hand tightened.

"Yeah, it is pretty cool."

Tsukishima could feel himself changing. He felt like he smiled more these past two months than he ever had in his whole life. But he couldn't tell what was different. He had always been with Yams and nothing's necessarily changed. Was it because they were soulmates? If this had happened even three months ago, he would've said cool and blown it off, but now it felt so much nicer and emotional. He kind of liked it. Maybe Yamaguchi's optimism was finally rubbing off on him.

"Wanna look around more?" Tsuki asked, taking in his soulmate's side profile.

"Yes." Yamaguchi took his hand and they began checking out the Museum.

"What kind is that?"

"Triceratops. Don't you know any of their names? Or even check the title of the exhibit?"

"No... I want you to tell me. You seem so passionate when you talk about them..." Yamaguchi said, staring deeply into Tsukishima's eyes. Tsuki blushed a little but spun around before Yams could see.

"Let's see something else." Yams happily obliged.

"Are you hungry?" Tsuki asked as they left the museum. It was getting dark outside a lot earlier now that it was almost winter. Yamaguchi shivered a little and Tsuki put his arm around him without even thinking. After he realized what he did, he tried to pull away.

"Wait, keep it there. It feels nice." They both blushed. "And yes, I am hungry."

Yamaguchi drove them to a diner and they were now sitting across from each other reading the menus.

"Anyway, when do you take your next driving test?" Tsuki asked, flipping the page and skimming.

"I have to wait a month before making my next appointment." He pouted, squeezing the menu.

"Well, at least you'll get more practice before the next one." Yamaguchi just nodded. The waitress walked over with a pen and notepad.

"Are you two ready to order?" She asked, setting the tip of the pen on the paper, ready to write.

Tsukishima nodded at Yams to order first.

"Can I have a Dr. Pepper and the chicken tenders..." He looked embarrassed as he asked. The pencil scratched across the page quickly and she was soon looking at Tsuki.

"I'll have the burger and a strawberry shake, please." He grabbed Yamaguchi's menu and gave them both to the girl who slid them under her armpit.

"All right, I'll have that out for you in a few."

"So why exactly did you fail the first one?" He asked

"I ran an unmarked intersection without checking..." The boy across from him sighed and dropped his head into his arm that were folded on the table.

"Hmm. You'll just to remember to look out for those, then." Tsuki took note of that in his head for the next time they practiced.

"Also, um..." Tsuki scratched the back of his head. "Thanks for the museum date... I really liked it even if it didn't look like I did."

"Date?" Yamaguchi blushed. Even though they were soulmates, they still haven't made things official. Tsuki didn't think there was really a need to since they both knew they were meant to be together, but he never said that out loud or talked to Yamaguchi about it. He had no idea what he wanted.

"That's what it was, wasn't it?" Tsuki looked away. Surely he wasn't reading too far into it, right?

"Yes, it was. I just didn't think you thought of it that way."

The waitress came back with their drinks and set them down on the table in front of the respectable person. They both said thanks and she went to wait another customer.

"Tsuki, do you want to date? I know you're kind of weird about this sort of stuff-"

"Weird? How am I weird?"

"Well, you don't really like labels and stuff, so I just thought..." He was right. He didn't want to put a label on what they were. They were soulmates, what was the point of becoming boyfriends? It's not like they had to have the title in order to do romantic things with each other.

"I don't, but if you'd feel better with us being boyfriends, I'd be okay with that."

"You would?" He nodded his head as an answer. "Okay..." He started to trail off, unsure of what to say.

"Yamaguchi?" Tsuki smirked. Yams looked up at him. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

A huge smile broke across his face and he nodded vigorously. "Yes!"

That smile... It made Tsuki's cheeks flush just looking at it. Everything about the boy in front of him was perfect. He wished he was able to express himself without coming off like an uncaring asshole. But surely Yamaguchi knew how Tsuki felt without him having to actually say it.

A few minutes passed with Yamaguchi uncontrollably blushing as he sipped his soda and stared at Tsuki who smiled softly back.

"Here you two are..." She placed the plates down carefully, biting her lip as she concentrated. "Would you like anything else at the moment?" The two shook their heads and dug in, feeling their hunger grow at the aroma of the meal.

"Wow, that was pretty good. I'm stuffed." Yamaguchi laughed a little.

"All you had was five chicken tenders..." Tsukishima covered his mouth from letting any giggles escape.

"So!" Yamaguchi put the car in reverse and pulled out of the diners parking lot and started their journey home.


	4. Part 4

It was late when they arrived at Tsuki's house. On the way home, he invited Yamaguchi to stay the night to which he adamantly nodded his head and bounced in the seat with excitement.

When they got to the house, they both immediately changed into their pajamas, brushed their teeth (Yams had his own because he stayed so often), and got into the bed. Though they were both tired, neither of them wanted to go to sleep, so they both stared at each other while laying down.

"You're really pretty, Tsuki." Tsuki almost scoffed but immediately bit it back. He couldn't react like that anymore.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi." Gah! Like that was any better!

"Sorry, Tsuki." Yamaguchi went to turn around but Tsuki stopped him.

"Wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." He grabbed his hand and held it in both of his, gently massaging it with his thumb. "I think you're the pretty one, Yamaguchi. And I think you're really cool."

"I'm not pretty."

"Yes you are."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Tsuki leaned forward a little bit so he could see his boyfriend's face better. It was dark in his room, but the light from the moon was shining brightly, even through his curtains. "I like your freckles a lot."

He knew that Yamaguchi would appreciate that compliment, seeing as he's always been insecure about his face because of them.

Yamaguchi leaned up on his elbow and was looking down at Tsuki. Their faces were close...

Finally, Tsuki leaned up, closing the gap between the two and pressed his lips to Yamaguchi's.

He reacted at once and was cupping Tsuki's face, gently pulling him closer.

Even though they'd been friends for so long, and he's always felt something deep down for Yamaguchi, he never would've imagined kissing him. He liked it.

"I'm sorry, was that too much?" Yamaguchi asked after breaking away.

"No! No, that was fine." Tsuki's eyes flicked back and forth between Yamaguchi's eyes and lip before diving into another kiss.

"I've always wanted to do that..." Yamaguchi said as they lay side by side. Tsuki had his arm outstretched and Yams was resting his head on it.

"Really?" It was kind of shocking to hear Yamaguchi be so direct about something, especially something like this.

"Yeah... I've liked you for a long time, so I was super happy when I found out we were soulmates..." Yamaguchi gave Tsukishima's body a soft squeeze, snuggling his head in his arm.

"I had no clue..." Sure there were a few moments where, after, Tsukishima did bounce the question around in his head, but he usually came to the conclusion that that was just how Yamaguchi was. Turned out he was wrong the whole time.

"Really? I thought it was obvious." The boy in his arms giggled.

"I liked you too. I started realizing that toward the end of last year." Yamaguchi didn't reply, hoping he would continue on talking. Tsukishima didn't like the silence so he did.

"I realized in gym class when we were playing soccer. I got hurt and you brought me to the nurse. I told you to leave and you did, but you waited outside for me the whole time. I just remember seeing you sitting on the ground with your back against the wall and feeling so happy."

"But you called me stupid for waiting..." Yamaguchi was holding in a laugh as Tsukishima blushed in embarrassment.

"Whatever... maybe I should've just kept that to myself." He huffed.

"No! I'm glad you told me." Yamaguchi paused for a moment. He looked like he wanted to say more but was unsure. Finally, he decided and opened his mouth to speak. "Sometimes I get insecure and think you don't actually like me, so you telling me this really helps my confidence."

Tsuki looked down at Yamaguchi resting on his chest. Did he really feel that way? Really think that Tsuki didn't like him? Sure, he wasn't the best with his words and he was even worse with expressing himself, but he thought it was obvious that he wanted to be with Yamaguchi and that liked him a lot.

"Do you want to know when I knew that I liked you?" Tsuki nodded his head.

"It was shortly after we became friends in elementary school. It was the first time we hung out together at your house and we were up in your room playing some games when you asked me if I wanted to see your toy dinosaur collection. It wasn't anything extraordinary, but I just felt really special and really... lucky to be friends with someone so cool." He finished with a sigh. Tsuki was left shocked once again. Yamaguchi had liked him for that long? How did he keep it to himself for all that time without him having a clue?

"I can't believe you remember that." Tsuki cringed as he remembered being so proud of his toy dinosaurs. "That's so embarrassing."

"No it's not. I thought it was cool. But, anyway, that was the day I knew that I wanted to be your soulmate."

A comfortable silence fell over them for a while before Tsuki fell asleep.

The next morning Tsukishima woke up to Yamaguchi still wrapped around his body. He was twitching slightly in his sleep and hugged him tighter. Tsukishima lifted his arm and gently brushed a few hairs from Yamaguchi's face, exposing his forehead. His hair was almost always covering his face, so it wasn't often that he got to see it in its entirety. He twitched a little at his touch and Tsuki froze, afraid that, if he moved, Yamaguchi would wake up and catch him. Luckily, his eyes stayed shut and Tsuki breathed in relief.

They laid in bed for another hour or so before Yamaguchi woke up. Tsukishima stayed awake the waiting, brushing Yamaguchi's hair the whole time.

"Hey, look. It's snowing." Yamaguchi pointed out as he was eating his breakfast. He motioned with his spoon to the window, sending a few drops of milk falling onto the table.

"I didn't think it would snow before Christmas." Tsukishima joined his boyfriend at the table with his own bull of cereal and began to dig in. Tsukishima stared at yamaguchi, mentally taking a photo of his morning hair.

"How many days until Christmas anyway?" Tsukishima turned around and squinted at the calendar.

"A week from today." Yamaguchi glowed. He always loved Christmas even though he usually spent it alone along with Christmas Eve since his parents worked and he didn't want to bother anybody. Hinata always tried inviting him over, but he refused every time, making up some excuse and hoping he wouldn't ask again.

"Want to do something together this year?" Tsukishima asked, staring down and playing with his breakfast, stirring it clockwise and watching as the cereal flowed with the milk.

"Really? Aren't you usually busy with your family?" Yamaguchi asked. He was already feeling himself grow with guilt.

"Do you want to?" Tsukishima had already concocted the perfect date, knowing Yamaguchi would love it.

"Sure, if you really want to." Yamaguchi blushed, but Tsuki could tell something was a little off. He brushed it off, deciding to let it go. If Yamaguchi had a problem, he would tell him if he wanted to.

"I do want to. So make sure you're not busy on the 24th."

"Okay."

Six days passed after that and it was Christmas Eve. Tsukishima was in his room getting ready to go get Yamaguchi for their date. Yamaguchi didn't know it was a date, though, he just thought they would be hanging out, but Tsuki had other plans.

After he was dressed, he went downstairs and passed the kitchen where his mom was cooking dinner. His grandma was in there as well helping her while his grandpa, dad, and brother were in the living room watching sports.

"Kei, are you leaving?" His mom called out. "Come here for a sec!"

Tsuki pulled his shoes on before meeting his mom. The room smelled amazing and he took a big whiff. They had just started cooking, so nothing was even close to being done, but the aroma was heavy.

"You're going out with Tadashi right?" She asked, wiping her hands on her apron and then pushing her hair out of her face with the back of her hand.

"Yeah. We won't be out too late. We should be back before supper." That was if he hurried and didn't spend forever talking with his mom.

"Okay, sounds good. Dinner should be done by 7. Also, don't be afraid to bring Tadashi over. You know how much I love that boy and I don't want him to be alone this year. I know you're embarrassed of me and don't invite him, but maybe you should this year. The holidays get lonely with no one to spend them with." She monologed as she sped around the kitchen to gather ingredients and other supplies.

"I know, mom. I actually planned on having him over."

"Tadashi? Isn't that that cute little freckled boy? Your soulmate right?" His grandma butted in with a knowing smirk on her face. She knew Tsukishima didn't particularly like talking about his love life nor his boyfriend. The only reason they even knew about Yamaguchi was because his mom forced him to admit who it was the morning after his 18th birthday.

"Yes. Now I gotta go, I'll see you later okay? Bye, love you!" And with that, he was out the door and settling into his car.

"Hi, Tsuki!" Yamaguchi greeted excitedly as he climbed into the passenger seat and buckled in. Tsuki noticed that his house was completely dark inside, momentarily forgetting that he was all alone until he arrived.

"I can't wait to say hi to your grandma but your grandpa scares me a little..." He chuckled nervously remembering the time he met him and how extremely intimidating he was.

"We're not going to my house yet." Yamaguchi turned to face him with a confused look. "It's a surprise."

It was already dark out even though it was only 6 o'clock, but it was perfect for Tsuki's plans. He drove in silence, occasionally listening to the music on the radio or to Yamaguchi singing along, not knowing that Tsuki was listening.

Not long after, they arrived.

"We're here." Tsuki unbuckled and got out of the car, walking around and meeting Yamaguchi on the other side. He looked confused.

"What are we doing at the park?" He asked, looking around. Tsukishima just smiled. They had to walk a little bit before they got to the good part. The park they were at had a big walking trail connected to it that they decorated with lights and other stuff every year during Christmas time.

"Come on, you'll see." He took Yamaguchi's hand and led the way through the park and to the trail. Once the lights came into view, Tsuki watched as Yamaguchi's confused expression turned into a wide smile.

It didn't look like Tsuki was the only person to think of this idea as there were dozens of other couples and families. But he didn't mind and, by the looks of it, neither did Yamaguchi. If anything, it made things seem a little more festive.

"Thank you for bringing me, Tsuki." Yamaguchi squeezed Tsuki's hand and he squeezed back.

"Sure." Gosh, what kind of response was that? But Yamaguchi's smile didn't falter even a little as he stared at the lights.

"Here, let's keep walking." Yamaguchi wrapped his body around Tsuki's armed and they continued walking through the trail admiring all the little details.

As they continued to walk, the lights started thinning out until there were no more and they were walking alone in the dark on the path. The trees started to open up as well and they found themselves walking next to a small lake.

There were a few picnic tables around but they kept walking until they found a bench that overlooked the entire lake.

"Wanna sit for a bit?" Tsuki stopped walking to ask.

"Yeah." They walked over to the bench and sat down. At first, they were on opposite ends, but they slowly scooted closer together until they were touching.

"The lights look so pretty on the water." Even though it was winter, it wasn't cold enough for the ice to freeze, so it was still rushing and splashing around.

They had only followed the trail for a bit, but they wound up on the opposite side of the lake where the lights were. They still looked equally as pretty far away.

Tsuki looked over to Yamaguchi and saw the reflection of the lights in his eyes and felt his heart pound a little harder.

"I have a present for you..." He finally forced out. It was so weird for him to be nervous about giving him a present. He knew he would like it, so why was he suddenly shy?

"Really? I got you something too!"

"I'll give you mine first." He pulled out the small box from his pocket and gave it to his boyfriend with a coy smile. He watched intently as Yamaguchi unwrapped the gift. Inside was a little strawberry pendant. It could clip onto anything or could be turned into a necklace if someone really wanted to.

"Sorry, it's kinda lame. I just saw it at a store and it made me think of you-"

"I love it!" Yamaguchi smiled at the present in his hand lovingly. "Here's yours." He also pulled out a box from his pocket that only had a string holding it shut.

Tsukishima untied the string and lifted the lid, almost nervous to see what was inside. He felt himself smile as he lifted a pair of socks with an embroidered t-Rex on them out of the box.

"Thank you, Yamaguchi." Normally, if he'd gotten socks from anyone, he'd be disappointed, but he was actually really happy with his gift. "I love them."

"You do? I was so nervous that you would hate them because it's kind of a boring gift-"

"It's not boring. I really like them, thank you." He put them back in the box neatly and replaced the lid before putting the box in his sweatshirt pocket. Yamaguchi did the same.

Tsukishima took Yamaguchi's hand and they sat in silence for a little bit as they watched families and couples walk through the Christmas lights, talking and laughing loudly.

"I love you, Tsukishima," Yamaguchi said. Just as the words came out of his mouth, though, he froze in place with his eyes wide open, almost as if he didn't realize he was speaking out loud.

Tsukishima turned to look at a very embarrassed Yamaguchi who tried to avoid his gaze. Tsuki squeezed Yamaguchi's hand and pulled his body into his chest. Yamaguchi didn't struggle, even though he was incredibly embarrassed, and hugged him tightly.

"I love you too, Yamaguchi."


	5. Part 5

Once the hug finally broke, the two stared into each other's eyes, wanting to do more, but unsure if the other wanted to as well. Slowly, Yamaguchi leaned forward, closing his eyes. Tsukishima followed his lead and closed the space between them. He felt his heart skip a beat as their lips made contact and he could feel Yamaguchi inhale sharply.

"I love you," Yamaguchi repeated once they separated, smiling with his eyes closed.

"I love you too."

"Thank you for bringing me here and for the gift... and for being the best soulmate I could have asked for." Tsuki blushed. Best soulmate? He thought that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it made him happy anyway.

"C'mon. Let's go home. My mom can't wait to see you." They got up from the bench and started walking back to Tsuki's car. They took their time when they got back to the lights, getting distracted by the beauty, but once they finally got to the car, they made their way back to Tsuki's house.

"I'm back," Tsuki announced as he kicked off his shoes, Yamaguchi doing the same and following close behind Tsuki.

"Just in time. Dinner should be done any minute." His grandma came out of the kitchen to tell him. "You're mother is upstairs getting cleaned up. Hi Tadashi!" She gushed, pulling him into a hug and rubbing his back. Yamaguchi blushed profusely.

"Hello..." He greeted shyly, scratching the back of his neck. Just then a timer rang.

"Ah! The ham is done!" She quickly rushed away without another word.

"Ah, Kei, you're back. And Tadashi!" Another hug.

\---

"So, Tadashi, when do you take your next test?" Tsuki's mother asked. She knew about everything thanks to their parents being pretty close friends. Yamaguchi picked at his food, embarrassed.

"I have to wait until the end of this month to make my next appointment." Everyone at the table nodded.

"Why'd you fail the first one, kid?" Tsuki's grandpa asked through a mouthful of food, pointing his fork at Yamaguchi.

"I accidentally went through an unmarked intersection without checking."

"Ah. Easy mistake to make. Happens all the time, don't let it get to ya, kid. In fact, I don't remember the last time I even checked for those intersections."

"Dad!" Tsuki's mom chuckled.

"Hey, I'm being honest. What's wrong with that?" The subject changed after that and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi stayed quiet for the rest of dinner.

\--

"Sorry for my crazy family. They're happy to see you. My mom especially. She has a soft spot for you." Yamaguchi smiled as he lay in Tsuki's bed, waiting for him to join him.

Tsuki pulled off his shirt and dug around in his drawer for a sleeping shirt. When he spun around to get into bed, he noticed Yamaguchi staring.

"What?" Tsukishima asked, joining Yamaguchi and laying beside him.

"Nothing." Yams blushed and shoved his face into the pillow he was cuddling.

"Hmm. Fine." Tsuki placed his phone on the side table and took his glasses off, setting them next to his phone.

"Tsuki?" Yams asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Yeah?" Tsuki was lying on his back but turned so that he was facing Yamaguchi, whose face was still buried in the pillow.

"Could we maybe..." he stopped himself and looked up at Tsuki before blushing and spinning away from him.

"What?" Tsuki asked, propping himself up on his elbow and peering at Yams.

"Do you maybe wanna cuddle?" Tsuki snatched the pillow from Yamaguchi's grip and placed it in the its correct spot.

"Sure." He scooted a little closer to Yamaguchi so that his chest was pressed to his back and snaked his arm over his stomach. He could feel Yamaguchi tensing up.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?"

"No! I'm fine. I'm just... nervous. sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Tsuki placed his head so that his chin was resting on Yamaguchi's head. Yamaguchi held Tsuki's arms tightly in his own.

"I love you, Tsuki."

"I love you too."

\---

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6," The tv was counting down. Tsuki and Yamaguchi were in Tsuki's room watching the news reporter on tv in a huge crowd of people at times square in front of the ball drop.

"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year, Tsuki!" Yamaguchi cheered, diving onto Tsuki and covering him in kisses. Tsuki kissed back but eventually fell back onto his bed, unable to stop Yamaguchi's attacks.

"Okay! Okay!" Tsukishima barely mustered. Yamaguchi pulled away, giggling at how flustered Tsukishima looked; his face all red and how he was avoiding eye-contact with Yams.

"Jeez, how about give me a warning next time." He tried to pout and seem angry, but his intense blush gave him away.

"Okay, Tsuki... I'M GONNA KISS YOU AGAIN!" Again, Yamaguchi was on top of Tsuki, smacking his lips everywhere he could before Tsuki could react. Tsuki grabbed Yams by his back and pulled him close to him so that he couldn't pull away and stared into his eyes. Now it was Yamaguchi's turn to blush. Tsuki closed his eyes and kissed Yamaguchi gently, savoring the feeling of his lips against his, of his weight on top of him, and the smell of his shampoo.

"That one felt good." Yamaguchi hummed when Tsuki rolled him off of his lap.

"What do you mean?" Tsuki didn't notice anything different about the kiss. To him, it felt like every other one.

"I don't know... It just felt... good," he repeated, unable to explain or give a reason.

"Hmm." Was all Tsuki could muster as a reply.

"Okay, you had your first New Years kiss, now let's go to bed, we have school tomorrow." Tsukishima was hesitant to have Yamaguchi over on a school night, and so were his parents, but Yamaguchi was so excited that he couldn't turn him down.

"Okay!"

The next morning they were on their way to school and met up with Hinata and Kageyama. They both had already found out their soulmates, but they weren't who they wanted it to be. Of course they wanted each other, despite them constantly claiming that they didn't, but the universe decided something else for them.

Kageyama hadn't met his soulmate yet, and Hinata was soulmates with Yachi. It was kind of sad to see, Tsuki had to admit. He really expected them to be together, but that reality made him cherish his relationship with Yamaguchi even more. If he had gotten anyone else, who knows what would've happened.

"Hey, Yamaguchi!" Hinata greeted as they began to walk in step with each other.

"Goodmorning, Hinata, Kageyama." Kageyama nodded his head as a response as he was drinking a milk box.

"What did you guys do for New Years?" Yamaguchi asked, assuming they spent it together. The two snuck a glance at one another and blushed before quickly looking away. Tsuki raised an eyebrow at that interaction.

"We just hung out. The usual." Hinata answered for both of them.

"Hmm. Seems like it." Tsukishima smirked, making them both blush again. It was very obvious that Yachi and Hinata didn't see each other as romantic partners, even though they were soulmates. He didn't think either of them minded if they saw different people while 'together'. Besides, Tsukishima always kind of got the vibe that Yachi played for the other team.

"What about you guys?" Kageyama finally spoke up to say something.

"We hung out at Tsuki's place!" Yamaguchi smiled.

Not long after, they arrived at school and split up to go to class.

"Today is a lab day, so get your safety glasses and lab coats and find a partner while I take attendance." Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had that class together, so they partnered up.

"Tsuki, you look so good in that lab coat!" Yamaguchi complimented.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi." Tsuki was embarrassed and didn't want any attention on him.

"Sorry, Tsuki." His voice was glum, but Tsuki didn't say anything more after that.

"Grab the beakers and one of each cup of colored material..." The teacher explained what they would be doing, but Tsuki wasn't paying attention. He would just read the packet with instructions once it was handed out and work from that.

"Okay, you may begin after you grab a sheet." Yamaguchi went up and grabbed two before joining Tsuki at the lab table.

"Here." He still sounded a little sad.

"Okay, we have to mix these two red powders into warm water," Tsuki explained as he read. Yamaguchi nodded and did as he was told, dumping the two ingredients into the beaker that was on a hot plate. It didn't take long for the plate to warm up, even after just being plugged in.

"Hey, give me that back!" A girl giggled loudly. Tsuki looked at the table behind Yamaguchi. It was a girl and boy partnered together. They always worked together and got nothing done, only distracting everyone else in class.

"Aito, I need that!" She giggled again, jumping up to try and grab the beaker full of water that the guy was holding up high.

"Come on, quit messing around," One of the people at her table ordered, pushing the girl just as she jumped up, sending her into the boy. Tsukishima watched as the boy fell onto Yamaguchi, who then fell forward. He placed his hands in front of him to stop himself but didn't have time to realize he was falling into the hot plate.

"Shit!" The guy behind Yamaguchi was still leaning on him for support. Yamaguchi, the hot plate, and the beaker were sent to the ground.

The sound of glass shattering echoed throughout the classroom. Tsuki jumped to his feet and flew to the other side of the table.

"What the hell? Move!" He pushed the guy out of the way.

Tsuki froze when he looked down at Yamaguchi. Surrounding him was broken glass and red liquid.


	6. Part 6

Images from his nightmare flickered in his brain. Something he hadn't thought of for a while. There was no way this was the last time he was gonna see Yamaguchi... It.. It just wouldn't make sense.

"Yamaguchi?" He panicked. Yamaguchi had tears in his eyes as he looked down at his blistering hands.

"What happened? Yamaguchi are you okay?" The teacher called from the front of the room, leaping up from the desk he was in.

"No, he got burned." Tsuki kneeled down to him, avoiding the glass, and helped him up by his elbows. "I'm going to take him to the nurse's office," Tsukishima said matter-of-factly.

"Shoto, go find the janitor. Aito and Hina, come with me. Now."

"Ouch!" Yamaguchi sniffled and flinched back as the nurse started to run cold water over his hands.

"Thank you, Tsukishima, but you can head back to class now." Tsukishima nodded at her and then looked at Yamaguchi who was looking down and biting his lower lip.

Tsuki left the office, but he didn't go back to class. Instead, he found a vending machine and got Yamaguchi's favorite drink before heading back to the office. He didn't go inside, because he knew he would get sent back out, so he sat on the ground by some lockers and waited.

Was he gonna get sent home? He didn't see how bad the injury was, so he couldn't make any assumptions, but the plate was pretty hot...

"Tsuki?" Tsuki didn't know how long he'd been waiting for, but it felt like a long time. He lifted his head to Yamaguchi who had just left the office.

"Are your hands okay?" Tsuki asked, standing up.

"Yeah. She ran them under cold water until they felt better and then put some cream on it." He blushed a little. "Sorry for crying... that was super embarrassing."

"Are you thirsty?" Tsuki asked, ignoring his apology. Yamaguchi raised an eyebrow. "I got you a drink."

He revealed the drink and Yamaguchi smiled. "The nurse told me that my hands would still hurt for a bit..."

"I'll hold it for you..." Tsuki opened the drink and lifted it to Yamaguchi's mouth who sipped quickly. When Tsuki pulled it away Yamaguchi made a small 'ah'.

"Thank you. For the drink and for waiting..."

"It's not a big deal. We should get back to class." Yamaguchi nodded and they made their way back. By the time they stepped foot into the classroom, the bell signaling passing time rang.

"Yamaguchi, can you stay after for a minute?" Yamaguchi quickly glanced at Tsuki before nodding his head. They grabbed their things and Tsuki told him he'd wait outside the door. As he was walking out, he noticed the two students that caused the issue standing in the front of class with their heads down. Tsukishima smirked and walked outside.

"Okay, let's go." Tsuki looked up from his phone to Yamaguchi standing in front of him. His face was red.

"What happened?" He asked as they started walking to their next class.

"Aito and Hina apologized. It was kind of embarrassing to have to stand there and accept it."

"Hmm. They should've gotten into more trouble. Doing stuff like that is dangerous..." Tsukishima looked down at Yamaguchi's hands. They looked like they hurt a lot.

—  
"Hey, let's go," Tsukishima said as he walked up to the cafeteria table.

"Okay! Bye guys!" Yamaguchi stood up and jogged after Tsukishima who didn't stop walking.

Once they were outside, Tsuki shivered as the cold air hit his skin. He recalled that it was supposed to snow around this time. He hoped they would get back home before it got too crappy out, though.

"Brr!" Yamaguchi shivered and reached for Tsukishima's hand. Though he tried to hide it, Tsuki noticed as Yams winced in pain. Tsuki pulled his hand away.

"How are your hands?" Yamaguchi froze.

"They're doing better. Still a little sensitive, though," he explained. "The nurse gave me a bottle of that cream and told me to put it on every few hours until they stop hurting altogether." Tsuki hummed as a response as pictures of earlier flashed in his head.

The situation seemed almost completely the same as the one in his dream. It was just a coincidence, but he couldn't help but wonder how it was so similar.

He pushed the thought of Yamaguchi dying out of his head, but couldn't stop the feeling of something weighing him down.

A snowflake landed gently on Tsuki's eyelash before melting. He blinked a few times so it wouldn't get into his eye.

"Ugh. This sucks." Yamaguchi pulled the hood from his coat over his head as the snow and wind started to pick up. It was a good thing they lived pretty close to the school and they were soon walking the road to Yamaguchi's house.

"Hey, Tsuki. Wanna come over and wait for the snow to let up?" Tsuki admired the boys face. He looked as beautiful as always, but the flush in his cheeks and the snowflakes in his hair only enhanced things more.

Blood... glass...

"Uh, no thanks. Not today. I'm gonna head home." Tsuki answered a little too quickly and was already beginning to start walking.

"Okay... I'll see you tomorrow." And that was the end of it.

Halfway to his house, Tsuki was regretting not taking the offer to stay because the wind picked up considerably and he was struggling against it.

Finally, he stomped through the front door and slammed it shut after kicking the snow off of his shoes. The house was empty as his parents were at work, so he had it to himself for a few hours before they got back.

He trudged into his room, feeling exhausted. Nothing really happened today, so why was he so tired?

He took his glasses off and set them on the side table before flopping onto his bed and laying an arm over his eyes. What was he going to do? Every time he forgets about Yamaguchi's fate, something stupid has to remind him of it and it takes forever for him to stop thinking about it.

There has to be a way to change the outcome... there has to be. What if they just avoided glass things or something? It seemed to be very important in the dream, so if they could just... Gosh, that would be impossible.

What if Tsuki just stopped spending time with him? If they were never together, maybe it wouldn't happen?

But how could he bring himself to do it? He loved Yamaguchi, how could he drop him like he never mattered to him? Tsuki knew it would hurt him to do it, but Yamaguchi... he would be devastated. He has other friends, unlike Tsuki who's only friend is Yamaguchi, so he wouldn't really have a problem with moving on, he thought.

Was he really going to do this?

He shook his head. He was too tired to decide at the moment. He told himself to think more about it later so he could rationalize every possible outcome.

"Kei? Supper's done." Tsukishima sat up, wiping his eyes and taking in his surroundings. It was dark outside and he was shivering as he didn't go under the blankets before falling asleep.

He grabbed his phone to check the time. It was around 7 o'clock. He also had a few messages from Yamaguchi.

Yams: Let me know when you make it home!- 3:39 p.m.

Hey, are you okay? You seemed a little upset while walking home.- sent at 4:43 p.m.

I hope it wasn't because of anything I did...- sent at 4:50 p.m.

"Crap." He didn't mean to miss his messages. He was sure Yamaguchi was overthinking what happened and was probably even more paranoid since he didn't respond.

Sorry for not responding. I fell asleep.

That was all he wrote, unsure what else to say. He set his phone down again and made his way downstairs for dinner.

When he was finished, he went back to his room to check his phone.

Yams: That's okay. Does you not answering my questions mean you were in a bad mood earlier?

Tsuki waited a few minutes before responding, thinking carefully about what he should say.

No, I wasn't in a bad mood. I just had a lot on my mind.

He stared at his phone until Yam's message appeared.

Okay... We'll if you want to talk about it, I'm here!

Tsuki sighed and set his phone down.

What should he do?


	7. Part 7

Two weeks had passed since the incident in science class and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi hadn't talked much other than a hello and goodbye as they walked to and from school.

"Hey, Tsuki?" Yamaguchi asked as they were walking home. It was mostly silent apart from the sound of snow crunching under their feet.

"Yeah, Yamaguchi?"

"Do you maybe wanna come driving?" Tsuki looked over at the boy. He had been so lonely the past week, deliberately ignoring Yamaguchi and trying to distance himself, hoping it would help with changing the future. All he wanted to do was hang out with Yamaguchi, but he also wanted to stay true to his plans to see if they would work.

"Sure." He answered before he had time to think of a reason to say no. Yamaguchi's face broke into a smile and he went to reach for Tsuki's hand but froze mid-grab. Tsuki pretended not to notice his hand drop along with his smile even though it hurt him so much.

"Here," Tsuki said as he tossed Yams his car keys. They both got into the car without a word and were now pulling out of the driveway. After about 20 minutes of silence, Yamaguchi finally spoke up.

"My next test is in May." Tsuki turned to look at him. Yamaguchi was so focused on the road his hands were gripping the steering wheel and his eyes flickered at every single thing they passed. He seemed stiff... rigid. Nothing was comfortable and warm between them anymore.

"That's a while away..." He tried not to sound like a boring asshole, but every time he talked, he just kept being reminded of why he was doing what he was.

"Yeah. But it means I have plenty of time to practice." Tsuki went back to looking out of the window.

"Do you hate me or something?"

"Huh?" Tsuki turned to look at him again. He couldn't blame him for asking when he was trying to make it seem that way. "No, why?"

"Don't sugarcoat anything, Tsuki. Just tell me the truth."

"I don't hate you, Yamaguchi. I... love you." Yamaguchi squeezed the steering wheel again.

"Then why have you been ignoring me? You hardly talk to me anymore and when you do it's bland responses. If you don't like me anymore, just say that!"

Tsuki didn't know what to say. Yamaguchi has never raised his voice at him- at anyone- before, so it took him aback.

"Do you wish you had someone else as a soulmate? Someone attractive or smart?"

"Shut up, Yamaguchi." Was all he could think to say. Obviously, it wasn't true, but Tsukishima couldn't think of a response that would accurately describe his feelings.

The car swerved a little as Yamaguchi corrected himself so that they were in the right lane.

"Hey!-" Tsukishima was about to scold him, but froze when he saw tears streaming down Yamaguchi's face.

"Yamaguchi, I'm sor-"

"No, Tsuki. I get it. I've always known that you didn't love me as much as I loved you." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand quickly, but as soon as his face was dry, new tears were already pouring down.

Tsuki recognized the houses they were passing and realized they were going back to Yams's house.

"Do you actually think that?" Tsuki felt his heart shatter in his chest. Sure he could be a little emotionless and distant at times, but did he really, genuinely believe that he didn't love him?

He stayed silent.

"Yamaguchi?"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Tsuki."

"That you're lying... That you don't actually think I don't love you." More silence. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

The only sound other than silence was Yamaguchi's sniffles as he cried quietly to himself.

"Yamaguchi, pull over. I'll drive the rest of the way..." Yamaguchi shook his head. "Come on, you shouldn't be driving while you're crying." He didn't move.

"Yamaguchi, pull over!"

"No! We're almost to my house, I got it, okay? I know how to drive!"

"I don't care- Yamaguchi!" Tsuki flew to the steering wheel, shoving Yamaguchi's arms out of the way, and spun to the left, just barely avoiding a car that didn't fully stop at a stop sign. Yamaguchi froze, unable to comprehend what just happened.

"Pull over." Yamaguchi, shaking, nodded his head and pulled to the side of the road before putting it in park.

They both sat in silence, unsure of who was going to make the first one, hoping it would be the other so they wouldn't have to.

Finally, Tsuki unbuckled and opened the door before walking around to the driver's side where Yamaguchi was already getting out. They didn't look at each other as they swapped places and it only broke Tsuki's heart even more.

Tsuki pulled into Yamaguchi's driveway and put the car in park and sat for a few seconds.

"I think we should break up." Tsuki tried not to show a reaction, but couldn't help but wince at the words said to him with almost no emotion behind them.

"Okay..." Tsuki forced himself to whisper. He wanted Yams to get out of the car already so he could go home and cry, yell, something.

"Okay." Yamaguchi confirmed, unbuckled and left the car without another word.

Tsuki drove home. He couldn't stop thinking how much he regretted everything he'd done that led up to the argument. It almost didn't feel real, like on Monday they'd be walking to school and talking like nothing happened between them. But he knew... knew that that wasn't going to happen. They both said things that they couldn't take back.

Tsuki sat in his driveway waiting for the tears to come, but none did. His throat was tight and it burned, but he didn't feel like crying anymore. His parents were home now, so he had to act casual, like nothing was wrong.

"Hello, Kei," his mom greeted from the kitchen, already starting on dinner.

"Hi, mom." Tsuki forced out before making his way to his room.

\---

"Have a good spring break, everyone!" It was finally the end of the day and Tsuki had heard about seven teachers say that to him. He was glad it was finally spring, but he was also a little discouraged knowing he was going to be alone and bored the whole time. He sighed and grabbed his stuff from his locker before starting his walk home.

He wasn't quite used to the warmer weather these days and found himself almost working up a sweat. He decided to stop by the store on his way to get a drink.

It had been almost two months since he and Yams broke up, but Tsuki's feelings had not faltered even a little, and he hated it. How was he supposed to get over him if his stupid heart ached every time he thought of his face... his freckles that reminded Tsuki of the seeds on strawberries... his beautiful brown eyes... the gentle curve of his lips...

Gosh, enough! It was his fault this happened in the first place, so he couldn't let himself mope over it. It was for good reason, he reassured himself. Now he wouldn't have to see Yams die and Yams wouldn't have to watch Tsuki be unable to help him. That's all that mattered. If breaking up and leaving on a bad note meant avoiding that ending, Tsuki was willing to accept it.

He walked into the store and made a bee-line to the drinks. He already knew what he wanted, but he still checked out every drink, just because. It helped pass time. The more time he wasted looking at drinks was less time he spent alone in his room thinking about Yamaguchi.

"Hello!" Two people greeted the cashier as they entered the store. Tsuki sat straight up as he realized who one of the voices belonged to. His heart started to beat faster. He quickly grabbed his drink and made his way to the cashier, checking every aisle before passing so he wouldn't run into him, but where were they? He didn't see him in any of the aisles as he walked...

"Oh, sorry!" Tsuki said dryly before looking up at whoever he bumped into.

"It's no problem." Tsuki raised an eyebrow at the boy in front of him. He had blond hair and a tongue piercing. He looked oddly familiar but Tsuki couldn't remember where he would've seen him before.

"Terushima?"

"Over here, by the sodas." Footsteps grew louder as they jogged over. Terushima...

"I got a snack-" Tsuki immediately looked away when Yamaguchi came into view, standing closely to Terushima. Really close. Tsuki looked at the candy Yamaguchi was holding... black licorice."H-hey, Tsuki- uh Tsukishima."

That stung. Yamaguchi hadn't called Tsuki by his full name since they were kids...

"Hey, Yamaguchi." An awkward silence filled the air.

"Uh, I'm gonna get going."

"Yeah..." Tsukishima stole a quick glance at Yams before leaving. He hadn't seen him in so long. It wasn't like he'd forgotten what he looked like, it was just that he missed being able to look at him.

"What was that about?" He heard Terushima ask as he walked away.

"He's an old friend," Yams answered. Tsukishima felt tears prickle at his eyes. He paid for his drink and left as fast as he could. 

It didn't matter that Yamaguchi was with someone else because he was happy and that's all Tsukishima wanted. He wanted him to be happy, even if it meant someone other than him was the source of it.

"Hey, Tsukishima!" Tsuki spun around, wondering who was calling his name. "Tsukishima!!"

Finally, he noticed them. The orange-haired idiot and the black-haired idiot.

"What?"

"We saw you walking. Can we join you?"

"I don't care." It was a rare occurrence for them three to interact without Yamaguchi being there, as he was the one that they were friends with.

"We wanted to walk home with Yamaguchi but he's busy and then we saw you and figured we'd walk with you instead."

"What makes you think I want to walk with you?"

"Well, you said you didn't care!" Hinata shouted, flinging his arms around.

"Shut up, idiot." Kageyama smacked Hinata on the back of the head and he immediately shut up.

"I heard about you and Yamaguchi. Sorry about you guys breaking up..."

"Hinata-" Kageyama began, making Hinata flinch and cover his head with his arms, expecting a smack.

"What?"

"It's whatever." It definitely wasn't 'whatever'. He shouldn't just say that, they might report back to Yamaguchi and then he'd probably hate him even more. "Not everything works out, even for soulmates. There's nothing we can do about it now."

Tsukishima hated to admit it, but he felt a little relaxed in their company. He hadn't talked to anyone in months, so it was a little refreshing... even if it was those two he had the misfortune of getting caught up in.

"Tsuki, wanna come over later? We're having a small get together with some friends." Normally, he would say no because he wouldn't dare voluntarily hang out with them, but he didn't want to spend another night alone in his room listening to music.

"Sure."

"Wait, really?" They both looked a little shocked. They probably expected him to say no because that's what he usually would do.

"Yeah. Unless you don't actually want me to..." It was definitely a possibility that they only asked him because they felt bad and, if that were the case, he would change his mind.

"No, we do. We just thought you wouldn't want to... Anyway, Yachi, Tanaka, Noya, and a few others are gonna stop by!"

Tsukishima almost felt offended. Why was he just now hearing about this get-together? If they hadn't met up, would he still have been invited? He doubted it. Even though he shouldn't, he felt a little hurt that they weren't planning on inviting him.

"Okay. I'll be there. Just text me the address and time." Kageyama nodded and got his phone out before typing all the information and sending the text. Tsuki felt his phone buzz in his back pocket.

"Anyway, Tsukishima. I feel like we haven't talked in so long!"

"Yeah, I wanted it to be longer, but you two just had to interrupt my walk..."

"Hey! You said you didn't care!"


	8. Part 8

It was later that night and Tsuki was sitting in his car outside of the house he was told to go to. Even though he knew everyone there, he felt nervous about going in. What if it was awkward with him there? Or what if they don't really want them there? Was it normal to be this anxious about going to meet your friends?

Okay. On three, you're going to get out of your car and go up to the door.

1... 2... 3...

He opened the door and forced himself to walk up the sidewalk to the front door and then forced himself to knock.

"Tsukishima!!!!!" He was immediately tackled by Noya and Tanaka at the same time. Tsuki just sat through it until they were finished.

"Hello." They both burst into laughter.

"That's it?"

"How long's it been, beanstalk?"

"Have you gotten taller?"

"Tsukishima!!!!" All Tsuki saw was gray hair before he was engulfed in another hug and then punched in the arm.

"Hi, Suga." Tsuki rubbed his hurt arm but found himself smiling.

"You've totally gotten taller!" He said, smacking him on the head a few times and laughing.

"I don't think I have..." Tsuki winced at every wack.

"Hey, Tsukishima. Are you hungry?" Hinata greeted, holding a plate of snacks.

"No, I'm good. Thanks." He was getting overwhelmed by all the attention. It hasn't been that long since he's seen some of them, why were they all acting like they were long lost brothers?

"Everyone's here then. Ennoshita couldn't make it, though." Hinata let everyone know. There was faint music playing, but it wasn't crazy party music or anything, mostly just stuff you'd hear on the radio just for some background noise. Everyone was just lounging around and talking and eating while Tsukishima was standing awkwardly off to the side. The only person he wanted to talk to hated him. He sighed and went to the kitchen to get a drink. He got a cup and used the fridge dispenser and got water. He sat by himself as he drank.

"Hey, Yamaguchi! I thought you weren't gonna come?" Tsukishima could hear Hinata greeting him from the kitchen.

Yamaguchi was here? He thought Hinata said he was busy today? Tsuki was getting nervous all over again.

"Hey, Terushima," Suga said that time. Gosh, and he was here with him?

"Yeah. We decided to stop by. I didn't want to miss seeing you guys."

Tsuki put his cup away and forced himself to rejoin the group. He couldn't hide out in the kitchen the whole time like some baby, that would be lame.

When he walked in the room Yamaguchi was being attacked from all sides for a hug. He was laughing and hugging them back with a warm blush on his face. Tsuki almost smiled, but looked away and joined Yachi on the couch.

"Hi, Tsuki. How are you?" He could tell she was nervous, more nervous than he was, but that was to be expected from her. Ever since first year, she was always so jittery and scared around people she wasn't 100% comfortable with, which was basically everyone except Kiyoko.

"I'm good, how are you?" She looked from him to Yamaguchi, who was now free from the group hug, and then back to him.

"I'm good. Not really good with big gatherings like this, hehe." Tsuki nodded his head.

"Me neither..." They both smiled a little. "Yachi?"

She looked up at him. "Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?" She nodded. "Do you think you can change the outcome of your last moments with your soulmate?" She thought for a moment.

"Not that I know of... I've never heard any stories where people have been able to, no matter how hard they tried. Why?" She looked up at Tsuki, but he was staring at the freckled boy across the room.

"No reason. I was just wondering."

"Oh, okay." She paused. "I'm sorry about you and Yamaguchi. I really liked you two together."

Tsuki pushed back the rude stuff he wanted to say. He knew Yachi only had pure intentions whenever she spoke, even if it wasn't necessary to say.

"Me too."

"I know it's not really my place to say, but I think he misses you." Tsukishima spun to face her. "We talk sometimes and he just seems... like something's missing. Which makes sense, since you're his soulmate and all."

"Yachi? How do you deal with Hinata being your soulmate?" He realized that sounded a little rude, but he genuinely wasn't trying to be. "I mean- with him and Kageyama."

"Well, we never saw each other in a romantic way, I guess. And who says soulmates have to be romantic? Why can't we be platonic soulmates?"

Is that what he and Yamaguchi were supposed to be? Just friends? Friend soulmates? He didn't want that to be the case but he couldn't completely disregard the idea.

"That makes sense..."

"I'm glad you think so. My parents can't seem to wrap their minds around it. But oh well. What do they know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He didn't, but he felt that was the right thing to say.

"You should try talking to him. It couldn't hurt, right?"

"Maybe. If I get the opportunity."


	9. Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - blood, self-harm

Yamaguchi showed up an hour ago and neither had made an effort to look at each other, let alone talk. They were on opposite sides of the room, talking to the people around them. Tsuki was sure that nothing was going to happen between them tonight.

"I'll be right back." He told Asahi who nodded and was already moving on to the next person to talk to. Everything seemed to be closing in on him

He walked upstairs, found a bathroom, took his glasses off, and splashed some water on his face. His cheeks seemed to have a permanent blush to them for the time being, most likely from how warm he was. He sat on the toilet and checked his phone for a few minutes, just to relax a little and cool off.

"Oh! Sorry-" Tsuki looked up and saw that the door was opened and Yams was peeking through. "Oh, uh hi, Tsukishima."

"Um, hi, Yamaguchi. Sorry, I'll get out if you need to use the bathroom." Tsuki went to get up, but Yamaguchi stopped him.

"Oh, I didn't need to, I just wanted a break from out there."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..."

"Okay..."

"But it seems you were in here first, so I'll get going-"

"No! I mean, it's okay. You can stay if you want. There's room for both of us..."

Tsukishima hated how awkward things have become between the two. How could he have let this happen? He hated himself for it but...

Who says soulmates have to be romantic? Why can't they be platonic?

Yachi's words bounced around in his head. She was right, but Tsuki didn't want to be just friends with Yamaguchi. He loved him...

"Okay." Yamaguchi sat on the edge of the bathtub awkwardly.

"So... how have you been? Practicing driving?" Tsuki asked, scratching the back of his head.

"I've been good... and not really, heh. I don't really have anyone to practice with..." Their eyes met for a second before they both quickly darted at something else. "How about you?"

Tsukishima had been miserable, in all honesty. He never leaves his room, he doesn't talk to anyone, and he has no friends.

"I've been good as well. Just doing school... 'n stuff." Wow, this was awkward. 

"I didn't know you and Terushima were friends." He was trying to be nonchalant, but it was very obvious that he was curious and had been waiting to ask the question. He just needed to know if they were together... as more than friends.

Yamaguchi smiled but it didn't stick as it dropped quickly after it formed. It didn't seem like he was going to get an answer.

"I didn't think you'd actually care..." Tsuki looked up at him, a little confused. Why wouldn't he care?

"Why would you think that?" He was now leaning forward on his knees and looking up at Yamaguchi who had his hands interlocked with each other, resting on his knee that was bouncing up and down due to him bouncing his foot.

"Well, because we broke up..." Tsuki flushed red. He didn't think either of them would mention their past relationship, like some kind of unspoken deal.

"Would you care if you saw me with someone else?" Tsuki asked, turning the question on Yamaguchi. He didn't respond right away.

"I don't know..." But Tsukishima knew what that meant. Whenever Yamaguchi didn't want to answer a question, he would always resort to I don't know. But now Tsuki just needed to find out what answer he was afraid of saying... yes or no?

"I think you do... Don't sugarcoat it, just be honest." Tsuki used the same words Yamaguchi said to him in the car. Yamaguchi must've realized that because his eyes shot to Tsukishima.

"Yes. I would."

"Why would you care when you're here with someone else..." There was a loud crash followed by a burst of laughter downstairs but neither of them paid attention to it, only staring into the other's eyes.

"I'm not with him. We're... just friends."

"Seems like it."

"Why do you care, Tsuki?" The mood suddenly shifted.

"Why do I care?" He was baffled. "How could I not care? You accused me of not loving you and then you broke my heart!" Stop, it Tsuki. You can't blame him! It was your fault... Your fault! Your fault! Your fault! It was all because you tried to change his fate... but now he knew... knew that it was impossible to do so... these past two months full of loneliness were his fault.

"Can you blame me?" His voice was soft and shaky despite how upset and angry he looked. "You wouldn't talk to me. You shut me out and left me alone when all I wanted was to be with you, what else was I supposed to think?"

"I did it because I love you, you idiot!" No. He shouldn't have said that. Love. Not loved. Love. Present tense. Tsuki still loved him, and now Yamaguchi knew it.

"What? What do you mean?" Yamaguchi was shaking like he was in the car during their first fight.

"Nothing, I didn't mean that." Tsuki stood up. It was about time he left anyway.

"What? You can't just say something like that and then try to leave." Yamaguchi was quick to stand up and jump in front of the door, guarding it with his whole body.

"That's all you need to know. Let me out." Tsuki pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at the door. Yamaguchi scooted away, hesitantly allowing him to get through.

Tsukishima flew down the stairs and out the door without anyone noticing. He jogged across the street, unlocking his car while doing so so that he could hop right in and get out of there as soon as possible before he could start overthinking everything that happened.

"Relax... don't cry, you're okay, just relax," He kept telling himself while taking deep breaths to calm himself down. 

He watched the house grow smaller in the mirror as he drove away, leaving it, and Yamaguchi behind him.

Nobody messaged him asking where he went or if he was okay, and he didn't expect anyone to. All he ever was was mean to them, so why would they check up on him? He brought it on himself, just like everything else.

Yamaguchi also made no attempts to further question Tsukishima on his motives revolving around their breakup, which he was grateful for, but he also secretly wished that he would press a little harder, force Tsuki to admit everything because maybe then things would get better between them.

A few weeks went by, then a month and it was the beginning of May. Nothing had changed and things were still the way they were before he and Yamaguchi met in the bathroom. Life still continued on, though. He still went to school, still did his homework, still spent his days alone in his room. There wasn't much else for him to do. He hadn't talked to anyone at the party since the party, which wasn't much of a surprise because he didn't talk to them before the party either.

How was it already May when nothing even happened? He would be graduating soon. School would be over and he would probably never see anyone from his class ever again... including Yamaguchi. It hurt to think about. The only time he got to see him was during the science class they shared together. Sometimes Yamaguchi would catch him looking at him, which was embarrassing, but he couldn't help himself. He still missed him.

And, by the looks of it, Yamaguchi didn't seem to be doing well either. He heard from Hinata and Kageyama that he stopped talking to Terushima and hardly talked to them either, which was a shock to Tsukishima. Yamaguchi didn't seem like the type to isolate himself, especially since he actually had friends and people to talk to.

Tsuki was in the school library helping Hinata and Kageyama study after they begged him nonstop for a week straight. He didn't have anything better to do, so he finally agreed.

"Tsuki, have you seen Yamaguchi recently?" Kageyama asked, taking a sip from his box of milk. Tsukishima tried to think of the last time he saw the boy... He wasn't in school today and he didn't remember seeing him the day before... or the day before that...

"I don't know, maybe a few days ago? He hasn't been in class the past few days..." Hinata gave a look to Kageyama. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Not sure. We were just a little worried about him. He barely talks to us anymore and it's not like him to miss school." 

"Why don't you just text him or something?" Tsukishima asked, flipping the page to look unbothered but not reading a single word on it.

"We have, he won't answer. I don't think he's even opened any of them..." Hinata grabbed his phone to check and he was right, all of his messages were left on delivered, some from a few days ago.

"That is weird... but why would you ask me about it? Yamaguchi and I haven't talked to each other in months."

"I don't know, just in case you happened to know anything." He dropped his head. "Sorry for bringing it up." 

"Whatever, let's get back to studying." Kageyama groaned but agreed.

Tsukishima sat in his bed, staring at the messages between him and Yamaguchi. The last one was sent way back in January. It was the day Tsukishima decided to start pushing him away...

Yams- Well, If you want to talk about it, I'm here...

God, Tsuki hated himself more and more each day as he remembered how stupid he was trying to play God and change things that were inevitable.

He was about to turn off his phone when he saw a text bubble with three dots appear, meaning that Yamaguchi was typing. His heart dropped and he turned off his phone, suddenly scared that Yamaguchi could see that he was on their messages. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

He set his phone down and decided to brush his teeth, hoping that by the time he got back there would be a message. When he was finished, he stared at his phone on his bed, scared to turn it on. He didn't know what would be worse, getting a message or not getting a message.

Finally, he built up the courage to check his phone. He tapped the home button and there it was: a message containing a short paragraph. Tsuki opened the message and began reading.

Yams- I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you in so long, I have a feeling you probably feel the same. But I just wanted to say I love you one last time and that I'll never regret having you as my soulmate. I'm forever sorry that things turned out the way they did. Goodbye.

Tsukishima was shaking as he read the message. How could he respond to that? Say I love you one last time? What does he mean? Did he finally move on?

I love you, too, Yamaguchi. I always have and I always will-

Ugh, that sounds awful and cheesy. he erased the message and tapped on the phone button to call Yamaguchi. He was feeling uneasy. Why would he text him so out of the blue to tell him he loved him?

"Yamaguchi?" He said the second the ringing stopped.

"Please leave a message after the tone-" Tsuki hung up and tried again. There's no way he couldn't answer his phone if he just messaged him. He got the same answer. One more time.

"Tsuki?" His voice... It sounded so frail. It was shaky and raw. What the hell was going on?

"Yamaguchi?" Tsukishima paused to try and think of a way to articulate what he wanted to say. "About your message, I want to say that I lo-"

"Don't say anything. I meant what I said and that's it. Now, I have to go... Goodbye Tsuki."

"Wait, Yamaguchi!" But he already hung up the phone. He tried calling again... and again... and again, but each time he was met with a voicemail.

"Dammit!" Something felt wrong... very wrong. Yamaguchi was acting weird. 

I'm coming over.

He hit sent and was on his way.

A/N

Hello. I hope people like this ha ha. I'm not too confident in my writing, but oh well. I hope its still enjoyable.


	10. Part 10

Tsuki pulled into Yamaguchi's driveway. The whole house was dark except for a room on the second floor where he could see light from behind the curtain. The drive to his house was a good 7 minutes, so he hoped everything was fine. Yamaguchi also never opened his message, so there was a good chance that he had no idea that Tsuki was coming over.

"Yamaguchi?" The house was as silent as always as his parents were at work and Yamaguchi was an only child. He continued walking through the house, tiptoeing like he had to be quiet for some reason.

He made it to the stairs and began walking up them slowly, listening for any sort of noise. And that's when he heard it. 

Whimpering. Sounds that someone would make while they were crying.

"Yamaguchi?" He said under his breath.

He made it up the stairs with his heart pounding and he was now outside the door with his hand lingering over the doorknob. He tapped his knuckled gently against the wood so he wouldn't scare him.

"Yamaguchi?"

"Tsuki...?" His voice... There's something wrong with his voice. "Tsuki... please help me..." 

Tsukishima's eyes shot right open at those words. 

No. No. No no no no no no. No! Not right now. It's not happening right now.

"Yamaguchi? I'm coming in!" The urgency in his voice was palpable. He needed to get in there and see for himself. Everything was fine, he just needed to get inside.

He twisted the door handle, but it was locked.

"Yamaguchi, unlock the door, please." He was talking so fast, he wasn't sure if Yamaguchi could even comprehend what he said. "Yamaguchi, open the door, now." Come on, come on, come on.

"Tsuki, please.... help me." More soft whimpers. Fuck, fuck. What was he supposed to do? 

"Yamaguchi! Please open the door! I'm right here, okay? Just let me in." He shook the handle almost violently, trying to unlock it with his will.

"Shit!" Okay, well it seemed that Yamaguchi was not willing or not able to unlock the door, so Tsuki had to take matters into his own hands.

He slammed his body into the door once, twice, three times. It didn't seem to be doing much, but he kept going until he could see the hinges start to grow weak.

"Yamaguchi, I'm coming in, watch out!" He stepped back to kick the door a few times, which seemed to work a little better. Finally, with one last kick, the door flew open, revealing Yamaguchi, surrounded by glass and blood. The first thing he noticed was the mirror on the bathroom sink was completely shattered which must've been where all the glass came from, but what happened to it?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident. Please, help me..." He was on his knees with tears pouring out of his eyes, looking down at his wrists which were spewing blood. Tsukishima felt like he was frozen in place, his feet rooted into the floor making him unable to move no matter how hard he tried.

"Please..." Each time he heard him speak, his voice seemed weaker, fainter...

Yamaguchi finally took his eyes off of his wounds and looked at Tsukihsima just like he did in his dream. His skin was white, even his freckles looked pale and wrong. He looked dead.

"Yamaguchi!" Finally, he broke free from his frozen position and flew to Yamaguchi. He couldn't just do nothing, he needed to be there for his soulmate. 

"Yamaguchi, why? What happened? Did you try to hurt yourself?" He knelt down in front of him, ignoring the glass cutting through his jeans, and cupped his face to make him look at Tsuki. But the boy looked so out of it. Tsuki quickly pulled his phone out and called the emergency services number and told them the situation and address. He then called his parents and also informed them.

"Yamaguchi, stay with me, please" He tapped his face to try to get him to focus. "Please, I love you!" 

Tsuki looked down at Yamaguchi's wrists and saw that shards of glass were lodged inside. Should he remove them or leave them in there? He wasn't sure. He didn't want to make the wrong decision and lose him faster.

"Fuck!" Tsukishima decided to pull the bigger pieces out so that he could wrap his arm and stop the bleeding. "This is going to hurt a little, okay?" Yamaguchi didn't respond. Tsuki started removing the pieces as quickly and diligently as he could, and once he was finished, he found a towel and wrapped it around the wound to slow the blood flow.

"It's okay, you're okay, Yamaguchi! An ambulance should be here any minute and they'll patch you up and be just fine." Tsuki pulled Yamaguchi's cold body into his arms and he hugged him desperately. He knew that things were not going to be alright, as it was obviously the same exact scenario as in his dream. but he could hope. That's all he could do. 

Tsuki left kisses and pecks all over Yamaguchi's body while repeated 'I love you' and 'you're going to be okay'. It had only been ten minutes since he called for help, but it felt like forever before they showed up. He didn't even hear the sirens when they arrived.

"Move son, we need to get him to the hospital." Tsuki was clinging to Yamaguchi, shaking like a leaf with tears streaming down his eyes. He didn't want to leave him. He didn't want to lose him and never see him again.

"Yamaguchi, wake up, people are here to help!" He sobbed as they pulled him off of Tsuki and placed him on a stretcher.

"Yamaguchi!" Yams's mother shrieked. She and his father pulled into the driveway just as they were lifting him into the vehicle. His mother got inside with him while his dad drove behind them in his car to the hospital. Tsuki was left all alone.

He stayed in the same position for at least an hour, not sure what he would even do if he did leave. Go home? Go to the hospital? 

Tsukishima couldn’t help but feel like this was all his fault. Would this have happened if he didn’t try pushing Yamaguchi away? He knew it was inevitable, but would the circumstances be different?

He just wished he knew what happened? Did he do it on purpose? He said it was an accident, but how couldn’t someone accidentally get glass in their veins? There was no way he’d ever know.

A ringing caught his attention. It was his mom.

"Kei? Kei, are you okay? I just got a call from Aimi and she said Yamaguchi is hurt and that you were the one who found him?" Tsuki didn't respond. He didn't know what to say.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Where are you? I'll come pick you up-"

"I'm okay, mom. Don't worry. I'll be home soon. I love you." He hung up before she could say anything else.

Tsukishima finally got up and walked to Yamaguchi's room. He took off his bloody clothes and put on a pair of Yamaguchi's pants and shirts. He was about to walk out of the room but stopped himself. Maybe Yamaguchi left a note or something explaining what happened. He searched and searched but couldn't find anything. 

Just as Tsuki arrived home, he got a call from Yamaguchi's mom who was sobbing. "Sorry I'm calling so late, but he's dead. He was announced dead in the ambulance and we've just been discussing the funeral and things like that." Tsuki swallowed thick spit, forcing himself not to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Yamaguchi." Tsuki forced out, even though it hurt his throat to speak.

"Thank you for being there for him. We really appreciate it. I'll let you go as we still have stuff to figure out." They hung up. Tsuki sat in his car, building the courage to go inside. He could see that the kitchen light was on which meant his mother was probably in there waiting so she could comfort him.

"Kei? Are you home?" He shut the door quietly behind him.

"Yes." 

"Come here."

"Mom, I'm kind of tired-"

"Come here, Kei." She was sitting stiffly on the chair with a bathrobe wrapped tightly around her form when he walked in. He could tell that she had shed a few tears as well.

"I know how you must be feeling right now, I really do. But please don't shut everyone out, okay?" She pulled him into a hug and he accepted it. As much as he tried not to, he found himself bursting into tears into her shoulder. She rubbed his back.

"I won't, mom."

"Okay. I'll let you rest and I'll see you tomorrow."

Tsukishima didn't sleep at all that night as all he could think of was how cold Yamaguchi's body was against his. He must've been dead the whole time as he held him. Tsuki felt sick to his stomach, but nothing came out when he went to throw up. 

He was empty and so, so lonely and nothing could take those feelings away.


	11. Part 11

The memorial service was a week later. Yamaguchi was cremated so there was no body to mourn, which Tsuki was internally grateful for. He knew he would've lost it if there would've been a casket.

The whole volleyball team showed up, including the previous second and third years along with Yachi and Kiyoko. Coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda made an appearance as well as a bunch of students from school that Tsukishima didn't even know were friends with Yamaguchi. He was sure that some of them just showed up to get out of school, which royally ticked him off, but he wasn't going to cause a scene. He was just going to attend the funeral and get it over with.

It went by rather quickly with his mom and dad saying a few words and then they played a few of Yamaguchi's favorite songs which they asked Tsuki for help with. And after a moment of praying it was over and we were free to leave, walk around, talk to everyone and give condolences to the mourning family.

Tsuki came with his mom and he stood around while his mother chatted with a few friends about how tragic it was for someone so kind and talented to die so young. 

"Kei?" Tsukishima looked around for the voice calling his name and landed on Yamaguchi's mom.

"Hello, Mrs. Yamaguchi." She smiled lightly while wiping away a few tears.

"Please, call me Aimi." Tsuki nodded. "But, I have two reasons why I called you over. One..." She turned around to the table and picked up a tiny urn before turning back to Tsuki. "Here. It was originally just going to family, but I think you're family enough."

Tsuki rolled the small object in his hand, feeling the cool metal against his skin. Inside was his soulmate. Someone who he should've protected... loved unconditionally... never let go. He didn’t deserve to be called family after what happened.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." A tear escaped his eye but he was quick to wipe it away.

"And the other thing I wanted to ask was if you could come over after the service and go through Tadashi's room. You two were so close, I'm sure there are some things that he would've wanted you to have. His father and I already removed the important things we don't want to lose, so the rest is free rein."

Tsuki stood in the bedroom that he was in a week ago after the incident. Everything looked the same except that it was a lot emptier, and not just because Aimi took some things out, but because the one person who should've been there wasn't.

He wasn't in there for five seconds before he burst into tears and collapsed onto the bed, holding his pillow to his chest and sobbed until his throat was sore and his head was throbbing. He missed Yamaguchi so much. Every time he thought about his face, his beautiful face, he was filled with despair. Nothing- time, love, comfort- could take this feeling of suffering away.

Still sniffling and, occasionally hiccuping, Tsuki began to search the room for anything he would potentially want to keep. He found the strawberry pin that he gave him for Christmas and pinned it to his shirt. He grabbed a few of his hoodies that Tsuki loved to see Yams wear along with a bunch of other little things that would remind him of his soulmate. Just as he was about to leave, he saw the lanyard he bought Yamaguchi all that time ago for when he got his driver's license. It hung on his coat rack with only one lonely key on the clip. Tsuki grabbed it and wrapped it around his neck before leaving the room. 

He was forced to pass the bathroom on his way downstairs, but thankfully, it was closed and he was able to leave peacefully.

"Kei? Are you leaving already?" Aimi yelled from somewhere in the house.

"Uh, yeah, I think so. I grabbed a few things, so I'm good." she appeared from a room, which startled Tsuki a little.

"Before you go, can I ask you one more thing?" Tsuki just nodded. "Do you think you could try unlocking Yamaguchi's phone? I've been trying, but I keep getting it wrong and I think you'd have a better shot at it."

"Yeah, sure. I can try." She pulled it out of her pocket and dropped it into Tsuki's hand. As he attempted it a few times, Aimi's phone rang.

"I gotta take this, keep trying." And she left the room.

He doubted he'd ever figure out the password. There's nothing he could think of that it could possibly be. He tried Yamaguchi's birthday, his school passcode, his favorite numbers, a whole bunch of things, but nothing worked. Tsukishima thought for a moment before sliding his fingers over the correct numbers and pushed enter. When it unlocked he felt a wave of relief wash over him. His passcode was the day they started dating.

He had only one notification which was the message Tsukishima sent telling him that he was heading over. He felt sick as he continued looking through the phone and froze when he saw Terushima's contact. He was unsure if he should open it and read the messages. He quickly clicked away and opened the notes app, wondering if maybe he wrote something about hurting himself. He felt wrong snooping through his phone, especially since they weren't friends for such a long time, but he also couldn't help himself.

There was nothing in there as well. He searched a few other apps before going to settings and turning off the passcode.

"Hey, you got on!" Aimi smiled. Tsuki handed the device to her.

"I turned the passcode off, so you don't have to worry about signing in on it and whatnot."

"Thank you." She clasped the phone tightly in her hands, shaking slightly. "Thank you, Kei."

"No problem."

"We're going to be moving in a month." She said abruptly. "Are you sure that's all you'd like to keep?" 

Tsuki looked down at the objects in his hands. Even though he didn't grab much, those were the things that were important to him. "Yes, I'm sure. Thank you for allowing me to have them." 

"It's no problem." They sat in silence for a moment. "Have a good one, Kei. I'm going to miss you." She pulled Tsuki into a tight hug, rubbing his back in a comforting manner.

\----

"Don't be out too late, okay? Dinner is in an hour!" Tsuki's grandma reminded as he pulled on his coat.

"I know. I'll only be gone for twenty minutes, don't worry. I love you." 

He drove to the spot he went to last year with Yamaguchi and sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to get himself to leave. It's not that big of a deal that you're here alone, nobody is going to judge you, he kept repeating to himself.

He grabbed his keys and felt for the object in his pocket, sighing in relief when it was there. He got out and made a bee-line for the spot, ignoring all the lights and people laughing around him. He kept walking as the lights grew darker and the laughter grew quieter until the only noise was him breathing heavily and his footsteps in the snow. 

It should be around here somewhere.... There!

The bench they sat at... where Yamaguchi said he loved Tsukishima for the first time.

The past seventh months had been hell for Tsukishima with accepting Yamaguchi's death and coming face to face that it wasn't his fault and that there was nothing he could've done to prevent it... But, no matter how many times he was told that how many times he told himself that, he knew it was wrong. There were things he could've done differently, he knew that, and he didn't want to keep pretending that it wasn't his fault when he did have a huge role to play with it.

He shook his head. One think they were right about is that what's happened, happened, and there was nothing he could do about it anymore, so he had to accept it and move forward. Move forward with school, his job, his family, his life.

He stuffed his hand in his pocket and grabbed the urn and pulled it out, setting it down next to him on the bench as he stared at the lights. It was a lot colder this year than last, so the water was frozen and he couldn't see the lights reflecting off of it like last time, but he didn't mind. It was still beautiful either way.

"I love you, Yamaguchi," He said aloud to himself, closing his eyes and trying to remember the way Yamaguchi looked with the lights glowing in his eyes. He smiled to himself as a tear trickled down his cheek.

On his way home he took a detour, driving down the street where Yamaguchi and his family lived. The house had been vacant for months after they moved out, but just recently had a new family move in. Although it hurt to see someone replace what once was, he was glad to see it full of life after seeing it empty for so long. 

Tsuki often found himself driving alone down the street while remembering all the good times he had with Yamaguchi- which was the only thing that could bring a smile to his face these days. 

Even if he were to move on far, far in the future, he knew there would never be a chance that he would forget his soulmate and what happened to him; the promise he broke and the consequences of it. Maybe in the next life he and Yamaguchi could meet again and start over. And this time, Tsukishima wouldn’t mess things up. He smiled at the thought and couldn’t wait.

AN: I'm so sorry if this is a terrible fic. I tried my best.


End file.
